My Greatest Fear: Loneliness

My Greatest Fear: Loneliness

Oof, faced some demons this week that I really didn't expect to or want to face 🙈 #coactivecoaching is a potent dose of realness, dudes. Actually mustering the courage to face "the realness" for me was incredibly painful, yet immensely empowering. So I cringed, I avoided, but I ultimately dove head-first into some deep, dark crap. I embodied what it's like to sit in the worst feeling I can think of - a pool of silent, dark loneliness up to my neck. As you might imagine, it doesn't feel great. Many of us want to be 100% uncompromisingly ourselves, so we create boundaries. "I am this - not that." "I'll do this - not that." It's so bold and courageous to be true to you, yet those boundaries we create can become walls, like an impenetrable defense system. Before you know it, we've constructed our own pool of self-imposed and self-contained loneliness. How do we live with the paradox of being shamelessly, freely ourselves and yet trapped by ourselves? I'm still not sure. It's messy and confusing, but it's purifying to acknowledge it. Bathing in that shit gives you life. Soak it in, emerge from that pool of deep, dark crap and dry yourself off. Rinse and repeat. Try it on, feel it, own it and maybe get an inch closer to understanding.